.....from this hypocrisy & pretence......
What if this isn't everything it should be????

I'm not even sure how I feel....!! !!

Maybe somewhere, someone loves me so much;
He'd share his life with me and my whole life he'd touch;
Maybe somewhere, someone longs to hear me call;
Or maybe, yes, I realized, maybe there is none at all...

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Keerthi's turn to face the reality...Part 9

| Friday, November 9, 2012
For those who don't know what this is all about....have a look at the previous parts of the series "How far can you go for that special someone"...?

Part 1

After coming back home I could not help think about my past and Keerthi's present...

I could see another heart break and this time it was my best friend.

I wanted to call her up and talk to her about all this as soon as possible and the soonest possible was at 12:30 during her lunch break.

I called her up and asked her if it was convenient to talk.

Thankfully, she had a few minutes of spare time.

"Keerthi"...I started "I have something really important to tell you"....

"Ohhhhh... You won a lottery? haha..."

"Keerthi, I'm SERIOUS...Please don't take me wrong.. and listen carefully whatever I say"

"Okay Aishaaaa...I am all ears.. Go on!!!"

"I have told you before too and I'm telling you yet again.The power of any relationship lies with the one who cares less...and I obviously know how much you care.Rest I think is needless to say..."

"I know all this Aisha.I know Anurag could be pretentious.He could not mean anything he has said so far.He could be playing with my feelings.But the important part is I mean everything I have said so far.I am truly in love with him and I can do absolutely anything to make him stay,even if it means breaking my heart in the end"

"Keerthi, all these awesome lines which you just said look good only in movies and fairy tales.Reali life is not about Cindrella and her prince charming who live happily every after.Most of the time it is about an "Aisha" who loved an "Ashutosh" who turned out to be jerk or a "Keerthi" who is madly in love with some "Anurag" who ends up telling her "I can't be with you..." "

"Aish, why are you so negative in life?May be Anurag genuinely loves me but cannot express it enough...
May be he also longs to spend his life with me but has his own limitations...."

"Keerthi, I don't mind if you lie to me; but please don't lie to yourself.Did he ever say "We will fight it together"?NO... Did he ever say "I am with you in everything"? NO...  And you also know how much I loved Ashu and how he turned out to be.I was also obsessed like you are and madly-truly-deeply in love.I believed in love more than you do.I was so positive for my relationship with Ashu.What happened in the end?He walked away like nothing ever happened,no feelings ever existed and no I love you-s were ever said....I know it is not fair on my part to generalize this thing called "love" but my sixth sense is asking me to warn you again and again..."

"I understand your concern Aish.I just want to give love a chance in my life and see where it takes me..."

"This is exactly the mistake I did...I also thought the same way and in that quest of giving "love" a chance,I lost so many friends.I pushed away so many people and the person for whom I was ready to leave the world left me for the world.I wasn't even prepared for a heartbreak. I always thought Ashu and Aish would have their world away from the world.I was so wrong..."

My voice choked as I said that.
My life changed for the worse after Ashu left me.It took me 30 months to get back to normalcy and move on.

"Aish, I am mentally prepared to get hurt.I know Anurag could be a mistake,a regret and in irreparable loss.But the bottom line to everything is I LOVE ANURAG a lot more.I don't mind getting hurt by him,crying for him,spending sleepless nights for him,praying for ......"

"Keerthi, what do you think?Crying,praying,wishing changes things?Trust me, no prayers-no wishes-no tears can make a guy love you the way you want him to.I have cried,wished,prayed, tried everything.I have prayed and sometimes still pray for Ashu to come back.I prayed day and night for that one guy but he never looked back for me...I still can't forget him.I don't want you to face the same thing that I faced..."

"So Aisha, what do you want me to do????????????????Walk up to him and..."

I interrupted her - "I am not saying that part ways with him or stop talking to him.All I wish to tell you is don't expect him to be with you all your life.Forever exists only in movies with a happy ending.'Janmo janam ka sath' in reality means 'Till I don't get bored'....Remember how Ashu got sick of me?....Okay I will hang up now.Bye..."

Saying so, I disconnected the call 'cause I could not hold back my tears anymore....



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