.....from this hypocrisy & pretence......
What if this isn't everything it should be????

I'm not even sure how I feel....!! !!

Maybe somewhere, someone loves me so much;
He'd share his life with me and my whole life he'd touch;
Maybe somewhere, someone longs to hear me call;
Or maybe, yes, I realized, maybe there is none at all...

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Make me believe again in that illusion called "LOVE"!!!!!!......!!

| Sunday, July 17, 2011
Now playing :-

रिश्तें तो नहि,रिश्तों की पर्छाइयां मिले...
ये कैसी भीड है,बस यहां तन्हाईयां मिले...

एक छत के तले अजनबी हो जाते है रिश्तें
बिस्तर पे चादरों से छुप सो जाते हैं रिश्तें...
ढून्ढे से भी इनमें नहि नर्माइयां मिले...
ये कैसी भीड हैं,बस यहां तन्हाईयां मिले...


Its been a long time since I have seen "HIM", heard his voice,had a facebook chat with him or shared that COLD look[ or may be a stare ] with him and I am not going to see him again most probably.
Its like we have different parallel paths with different destinations which are never ever going to cross each other.

I thought life ended the moment "WE" ended...
I thought the world stopped the day "HE" walked away..
I kept on blaming my destiny for everything that went wrong..
I considered it to be the worst anyone could ever get from "LOVE"..
I wished to relive those moments,I wished to hold the hand which did not even wave me a goodbye.
I wished to stop the moment when we kissed the last time.
I wished to pause my life at our last meeting.
I wished to fly away to some distant place with him,where it would be only me and him...
Nevertheless,he left and I was stranded alone in the chaos called "LIFE"...~~
It was a mistake,a regret,a pain,a betrayal and a broken relationship few days ago...
Today,it has a different meaning altogether...
It is a lesson and a heartbreak which has made me a stronger person.
It is his deceit which has taught me never to get carried away in anyone's sweet conversations.
It has taught me never to lie to yourself and never to console yourself regarding the wrong person and overlooking all his pretence,despite realizing everything.

Yes,it was hurting me a few days back,but I have got over it..or rather I would say I have got "through" it.
It doesn't hurt me anymore.
I don't miss him anymore.
I don't love him anymore.
I no longer wish to see him again.
I don't even want to talk to him.
I don't envy the new girl in his life.
I don't wish to have him back in my life.
It no longer makes my heart beat faster when I see him online on google talk/facebook chat.
Of course,I don't have any hard feelings for him whatsoever.
But I have lost everything that I had for him,and I don't wish anything that I wished he had for me,anymore.

However,in this process,I have changed a lot.I don't know if this change is good but I cannot help it.
I don't feel the way I used to feel, for anyone.
I don't care the way I used to care.
I can't trust anyone the way I did,few months/days back.

I just hope someone can make me "BELIEVE" again in that illusion called love and help me be at peace in this chaos called life where everyone is busy with THEMSELVES,least concerned with what anyone else feels!!! :)

2 opinions:

{ chirag } at: Wednesday, July 20, 2011 said...

nice poem and post
just believe in urself

{ Where thoughts are Word$ } at: Wednesday, July 20, 2011 said...

Thank you so much,Chirag!!! :)


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