.....from this hypocrisy & pretence......
What if this isn't everything it should be????

I'm not even sure how I feel....!! !!

Maybe somewhere, someone loves me so much;
He'd share his life with me and my whole life he'd touch;
Maybe somewhere, someone longs to hear me call;
Or maybe, yes, I realized, maybe there is none at all...

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This feeling of HATRED!!

| Monday, July 6, 2009
I hate him.
I hate him for being a mistake in my "PERFECT" life.
I hate myself for letting him hurt me.
I hate him for making me cry.
I hate myself for those tears I cried.
I hate him for flirting & pretending.
I hate myself for trusting everything he said.
I hate myself for the tears which he made me cry.
I hate him for showing me dreams.
I hate myself for actually believing in them.
I hate him for playing games in the name of love.
I hate myself for being a part of it.
I hate him for loving someone else.
I hate myself for loving him.
I hate her for loving him.
I hate myself for being so selfish.
I hate him for leaving me for her.
I hate myself for wanting him even after that.
I hate him for all those lies.
I hate myself for not being worthy enough of the truth.
I hate myself for having hopes & dreams.
I hate him for crushing them.
I hate him for destroying the purity of the word "love".
I hate him for strangling the essence of "commitment".
I hate him for insulting the depth of the feeling called "love".
I hate myself for praying to have him in my life.
I hate destiny for having different plans,
But most of all I hate him for breaking my heart every time I look BACK!!

I hate YOU...but I'm pretty sure you're happy wherever you ever,with whoever that girl is.I don't have a right to say anything to the girl.I just hope everyone gets what he/she truly deserves and I genuinely pray for JUSTICE!

Justice to the one who loved so true & also to the one who crushed her love,hopes & wishes.

Sometimes I think maybe I would have broken someone's heart in my past life,in my previous incarnation...That's why I paid a price in my present life!!!!! :

...Not only him,I HATE certain other people too ,who I don't even know but their irritating behaviour makes me hate them sooooo much...More about them later!!

And with this I'm letting him go and setting myself free from all those animosities.
It was my choice to be unhappy,to be broken-hearted and grieve over him but I promise myself I shall never ever look back.

I know I've promised many many times,but this time it's for the last time.I shall be happy and make sure my heart heals....

It's okay if you won't comment! :)

It's pure reality-THE BITTER REALITY and I won't mind if you walk away without commenting.

Note:-I'm not being rude.This is the way I'm! :(

7 opinions:

{ Arjun } at: Monday, July 06, 2009 said...

kind of very relatable... :)

Going through this phase is like.. such pain isnt it.. :)


{ Bala } at: Tuesday, July 07, 2009 said...


Its really a hard phase to get through in life..

But once u are out of this, it would have made you thousand times stronger both mentally and morally!

Hope u get out of this soon!

Be Happy!


{ Dr.Kumar } at: Friday, July 10, 2009 said...

Hey good one disha......
This is a piece of fiction rt????
Nd the above person is my cousin.....
Nd a small alteration to ur poem.....
the flow of the poem is a line with hate him nd a line with hate myself in alternative sequences..... but in ur 7th line the continuity is lost....
just a small alteration.....
Ur poem is awesome./.....

{ Dr.Kumar } at: Friday, July 10, 2009 said...

also check out my work...

{ Adeline } at: Saturday, July 11, 2009 said...

it was awesome..i liked d way its written :)

{ Where thoughts are Word$ } at: Saturday, July 11, 2009 said...

@ Arjun

Thanks for dropping by! :)

@ Bala

Thank you !! Do visit again!

@ Dr. Rajkumar

Take it as fiction/real :)

I leave it upto your perception!


@ Adeline

Thank you so much.

Hope to see you here again! :)

{ avegail } at: Tuesday, August 11, 2009 said...

i got stuck to this stage of life for a decade.. =) but now, i have been healed.. i am still single and he just got married.. =)

i am very happy where i am now.. but it took a long time.. i tried so hard to move on -- i lived one day at a time.. i hope you get better everyday.. =)

this is a good entry. =)


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